By Kathryn Eisman. RESCU’s Love and Dating Expert.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise seem to be always travelling and spending time apart yet, despite endless reports that they're breaking up, they've remained together and keep making time to see each other. How can we keep our relationship together and happy when work keeps wanting to split us up?

There are many reasons we fall in love with someone, their sense of humor, the way they smell (don’t laugh, you know who you are!), the way they make you feel when they look up at you over the dinner table and often their drive to succeed in whatever field they have chosen. From geologist to garbologist, teacher to preacher, a man or woman who is passionate about what they do is a serious turn on.

Of course, the flip side of being with a driven, ambitious person is that you are never fully alone with them. Their mind often drifts to their mistress or the other man, work. You could be in the middle of a romantic dinner for two and catch their eyes glaze over as they compose their “to do” list in their head. They could sit in their home office into the wee hours “just finishing a few things up” instead of drifting off to sleep snuggled beside you in bed. Being with an ambitious person can be a lonely road to walk. At times it might feel that the drive for professional success comes at a cost to personal happiness, but it needn’t be so.

I have studied some of the world’s most successful couples and noticed that there are a few keys to making it work, even when professional demands seem to make it impossible.

1. Set up ‘meetings’ with your partner:  Set up ‘dates’ with your partner as if you would an important business meeting and be 100% present. You wouldn’t check your iPhone or blackberry 20 times in the middle of an important meeting, so don’t do it when you’re meeting with your partner. It’s rude.

2. Stay connected: If work is a big part of your life, be sure to share the key issues and goals with your partner so they can be involved in such an important part of your life. Instead of having two completely separate lives, work/play; make them feel involved by updating them regularly on all the main factors so they can feel involved.

3. Ask for their opinion: It’s easy to feel as though we ‘know it all’, especially if our partner is in an unrelated field. But shutting them out is a mistake. Ask them for their advice from time to time, not only is it a huge compliment but you’ll be surprised at how helpful a fresh set of eyes can be (especially from someone who knows you better than anyone).

4. Set shared goals: We’ve all been so caught up in “getting ahead” that we don’t stop and smell the roses. If you want someone to come on the journey with you make sure they get to enjoy some of the spoils of all that hard work too. Setting shared targets such as ‘taking a road trip down the coast’ if you meet your professional targets or buying that dream home if you can increase your business profit enrolls them into your dreams.

5. Build something together: It’s important to have your own personal goals and successes, but put your heads together and see if there are any shared career goals you could do, from starting a small business to having them help you with the books. If you’re going to see your colleagues more than your partner, why not make your partner your colleague?

6. Laugh: Above all other factors, laughter is the key to a successful relationship and getting through life’s ups and downs. Whether times are good or tough, knowing that someone loves you either way is the greatest success of all!

Image Credit: Zimbio

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