Is being beautiful bad for your love life?
14th OF October 2012
How many times have you heard friends and family of the single and gorgeous wonder aloud how someone beautiful could possibly end up alone? Turns out, when it comes to our love lives, beauty might not be all it's cracked up to be...
By Chloe Schneider
US psychologist Dr Shauna Springer suggests that, despite what we may assume, beauty can be somewhat of a social handicap, and that the really, ridiculously good-looking are in fact more likely to be unlucky in love. Springer, who is the author of Marriage, for Equals: The Successful Joint (Ad)Ventures of Well-Educated Couples, looks to the failure rate of marriages in Hollywood (not naming any names, *cough* Kim Kardashian *cough*) as evidence of this phenomenon.
According to Springer there are more obstacles for beautiful people to overcome in marriage or long-term relationships. She recently told Life & Style, “those who are physically beautiful may need to be especially cautious in assessing the character of any potential life partners. Beautiful people may tend to attract people who are more likely to treat a person as a possession, people who seek to display external signs of success to make up for a rather rotten core self.”
These things aside, beautiful people can also be on the receiving end of some pretty awful stereotypes. We often assume that attractiveness means arrogance, and are therefore hesitant to make the first move. While this certainly isn't always the case, beautiful people are, according to Springer, “more likely to have a spoiled child element in their personalities – and an expectation that their wishes will be granted with little opposition, resulting in an acute coping crisis, an adult tantrum, when their desires are not met.”
Because of these attributes, the physically blessed could be cursed when it comes to finding a partner who is able to stick by them long term.
In the same vein, beauty can bring with it an insecurity that their relationship is the real deal. Springer says, “like a person who is flush with material wealth, those who have great beauty often struggle with questions about why people seek them out…” She goes on, “some men are drawn to ‘trophy wives’ to boost their own feelings of self-worth… this shallow reason for choosing a partner is flawed because over time, they may need to trade up by seeking a younger, more beautiful partner to continue the façade of success.”
When this is the case, pressure to stay beautiful mounts, and many can go to extreme measures to maintain their physical beauty because they believe that is the only reason their partner loves them.
Of course, just as beauty will eventually fade for those who are not beautiful on the inside, those whose physical perfection is matched by a kind nature will be able to overcome any of these obstacles.
As Springer says, “Any assumptions that people make about beautiful people are likely to get corrected over time with sufficient exposure to an individual’s character.”
The lesson? At the end of the day, in love and in life, it really is what's inside that counts.
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