Love Expert Kathryn Eisman Tells Us How To Split Our Time During The Festive Season

15th OF December 2011

Christmas and New Years is the time to catch up with friends and family. How do we ensure we get to see our loved ones and our partner's loved ones in just a short week? And how can we prevent fights over splitting our time during the festive season?

In less than two weeks time I touch down in the Land of Oz for what is my annual Sydney summer pilgrimage. The time of the year that I, like every Aussie, looks forward to all year long. Because no matter where in the world you may live, you know that during that magical week between Christmas and New Year, there’s no place like home.

It’s a wonderfully wicked week off work, filled with warm jasmine scented air, sundrenched rosé fuelled BBQ’s with friends, morning dips in the ocean, shopping the Sales (can I hear you say 50% off), pool parties, presents, oh and family time. …lots of family time.

There are family dinners and family brunches, family Yum Cha’s and family lunches and if you have a partner you can times that by two!

If you’re not careful, your dreams of enjoying the silly season together can fade sooner than your tan. You and your husband of boyfriend start accusing either others family of domination the calendar. Pretty soon your holiday spirit is replaced with squabbling over who ought to spend more time with whom in an seemingly impossible bid to keep everybody happy. Enough!

So how do we ensure that everyone gets their time in the sun? How do we guarantee that both you and your partners family gets equal billing, while still manage to have a little time left for yourself? The key to success is planning!

Here is my 3 STEP FAIL PROOF Strategy:

1. Divide and Conquer

In an ideal world we could combine all our obligations and mix your family and his, your divorced parents, his feuding brothers and sisters into one big happy family. Yeah right!

The reality for most of us is that we must divide and conquer. So find a way to share important celebrations with those most important to you by dividing special occasions between various family members. It could be Xmas Eve dinner with his family and Xmas lunch with yours. It could be New Years Eve party with his sister and New Years lunch with yours. Think outside the box and find a special occasion for each of the special people in your life.

2. Write a list. Hey it works for Santa!

a) Write down a list of all the family events you need to attend for both his and your side.

b) Write a separate list of all the activities you and your partner have been looking forward to. It could be a morning walk along the beach or a movie and ice cream.

Note: If there are activities that you would like to do separately, like shopping the sales for you or a game of touch footie with the boys for him, put and asterisk next to these.

3. Lay it all on the table…

a) On a single piece of paper create a table diagram with seven columns along the top for each day of the week, and four columns down the side dividing each day into –morning, midday, afternoon, evening. Do this for the week or two that require the most scheduling help.

See diagram below as an example:

b) Using a red pen for you and a blue pen for him fill in all of your family activities into the corresponding sections of the day.

Then using a black pen fill in the activities you both have been looking forward to. Try to schedule your individual activities, the ones marked with an asterisk, at the same time.

Note: Ensure that at least a quarter of each day is still left completely blank. This will prevent you from running around like a Xmas turkey with it’s head chopped off!